27 Facts Social Media Won't Reveal About Me

Hi there! So I figured if we’re going to be journeying together in seeing how far She’s Beauty And The Beast can guide us to ever awesome personal achievement, I might as well flip on the transparency and share/overshare some thoughts.

Life definitely isn’t all affirmations and almond milk, so here’s a short introductory list of all things me, coming straight to you from the bright and dark sides of realness. I don’t care if you judge me <3

1.      Sooooo my last name is Garraud and I’m 101% Haitian.

2.      I have an insatiable curiosity for all these damn words that start with the letter s – souls, sexuality, sanity, spirituality, success, sociology. Maybe cause I’m a Scorpio?

3.      I stood on an expensive marble table during my first college party thrown by these bedazzle-belted senior dudes. It broke in half. I fled the scene and rode the subway back to the dorms while lying flat on my stomach.

4.      As a child, my four favorite things to do were: secretly analyze the humans in my life through written form, read long paragraphs aloud, steal magazines (YM, Teen People & Seventeen, yikes) and watch new episodes of Oprah while between my mother’s legs as she massaged my scalp with Vaseline.

5.      My top fear is stumbling over rows of words during my first seconds after death when God eventually asks how I added value to my life and the lives of others. My second place fear used to be failing in monogamy, but now it’s dying with debt, hehe. 

6.      I kinda consider myself a disciple of Billy Blanks. As a 7th grader, I remember my mother treating every fitness informercial like a buffet, just trying every last home gym invention. And finally she fell into the hex that was Taebo and because at age 11 it was my duty to be my mother’s personal weightloss coach, I learned every grunt, every roundhouse kick, every flickety finger point that man performed in his videos. It was my first taste of the power combo of motivation, adrenaline, endorphins, change and craziness.

7.      Marie Claire, Billboard, Rolling Stone, VIBE, SPIN, Complex, XXL and other spots all decided to hire me as a writer at some point.

8.      I’ve considered going into my next life via cremation and having my remains stirred into a Costco-size Nutella jar.

9.      I survived a Scientology service and memorialized the experience with a tattoo.

10.  I gifted my virginity to a lifelong crush at the age of 17 in the backseat of a car. It was magical. He was five years older than me, my best friend’s brother and a forbidden love. My then 12-year-old sister was the first person I confessed this to. I wanted to bury in her conscious that sex happens when two people are madly and committedly in love.

11.  I’m bisexual and Jesus loves me.

12.  I was in a mentally, emotionally and physically abusive relationship on and off for three years with a woman I wanted to marry.

13.  I currently have a bottomless fascination with fingerprints.

14.  I personally think God’s actually okay with my array of four letter words, so long as it’s not in regards to your mother… or my mother.

15.  I’d love to have too many glasses of wine with Joyce Meyers, Tony Robbins, Pietro Ferrero and Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

16.  I think it’s every breathing person’s basic duty to share what worked and didn’t work in creating the best version of themselves.

17.  I’m all for aiding women, which includes myself, in unlocking our godliness, buuuuuuut don’t think I’m obliged to rock with every walking thang who dangles ovaries. I can respect a woman without agreeing with her and I can dislike a woman without trashing her.

18.  I’ve considered suicide more than once in my past.

19.  YouTube saved my life.

20. I prefer lime in my water over lemon.

21. Almost everything in my apartment has been copped via the OG mall of dot com --Craigslist.

22. I'm just now getting over a fear of...  *prepare not to judge me* butterflies. 

23. The only time I'm completely capable of linear thought is during a workout.

24. I'm a hoe phase late bloomer. 

25. My order of love languages are: words of affirmation, touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time.

26. Horribly crafted emails + hyper-masculinity are my biggest pet peeves of all existence. 

27. I ain't got no damn clue how to corn-row my hair. HALP!!!

Anything resonate with you? Want some more details on a specific numero... reach out to me! We cool now. Tweet/IG @itstracyg

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